Cultural Confusion

These last couple of days, I have been amazed, struck, awed, and overwhelmed with how different people defined culture. Over the years, I have been engaging in a cross cultural non-profit organization in which we emphasize that the culture that we thought, is actually only a tip of these iceberg of culture, consisting of the unseen. The tip of the iceberg, are the cultures that most people felt easier to be defined; languages, dances, ornaments, songs, manner, and others. For the kids that we sent through the exchange programs, it is easier for them to give an impression of Indonesia’s culture through the above mentioned items. But, the challenge would always be the way we think, the way we talk, the manner of choice of words, our communal activities and interactions. One would- or could - easily described Indonesia’s culture as Bahasa Indonesia, Tari Kecak, the smiles people give when you walk down the road, etc. Try to live in Indonesia for at least a year, you will start to see how the physical defined culture is built of these unseen way of live which –if we are taking cultures to the analogy of iceberg – is the bigger part of the iceberg, covered by the deadly cold water. The water is cold, so it’s dangerous if you try to look under, nevertheless try to understand. But I can guarantee you, the view is one of a kind.

For those of you non-Indonesian, trying to understand the culture of Indonesia, fear not, it will only take your life time. First, this country is just massive, both in a good and not that good kind of way. The variants of languages, cultures, tribes, ethnic groups – not to mention if these ethnicities learn to be more open and blend in with each other, thus create a new mixed culture as well as the history that build a culture and is shared by most of the member of the group. A group, so it does not necessarily means that it represents a certain ethnic or religion or province. It simply represent a group of people sharing similarities, be it profession, age, family and educational background, or even any circumstances that brought the group together.

Just take myself as an example, I live here whole my life here and still couldn’t quite get a grip on why things are being done the way it does. Why aunts and uncles meddle on the fact of their nieces and nephews aren’t engaging to any leading to marriage relationship. Or how my family – who are Chinese – succeed in implementing the thought that I should marry someone Chinese when I, myself, is avidly involved in a cross cultural organizations that emphasize on differences and voluntarily thinks that these cultural differences I experienced, have been the best on-going learning process that I had. I don’t understand why in the same manner I had been brought up by my parents, with the similar educational and international backgrounds as my sister, I managed to keep my personal issues to be my own personal matters and rather not share it with my family, since once they get access to it, they would disembodies the whole issue. I'm friends closely with those who wear veils and do their five time prayers, fast, I go to the fasting breaking events and they don't quite get why.

Well, maybe those are a bit subjective, my opinions. What I’m trying to say is that culture is not something you can master, even when it's your own. It evolves, it grows, and it adapts, as well as adjusts. It’s way too dynamic to be defined. And one could never give a full definition of one’s culture over a similar characteristic that they possess. As always, it’s what unseen that matters the most.