kept.

the email was somehow obscure. i click the send button. now i regret doing so, for i am going to lose the talk now - in which my friend refer as way too dangerous knowing that i'm hiding all the talk i have been doing so far from the rest. but i like the way the feeling was kept. it was kept. the unbridged-unlead-yet-never-ending talk. only about things and cheers.

i doubt there would be any of those in the future.

two months ago, as the decision to stand on one's own was taken, it was clear that apparently: me deciding was not the matter, at all. i bothered too much and wasted my time driving. regression is not an option, as one took things to their hands, bearing the thought to guide it with the force they have never had control of. they need to be (and accept that they are) desperate and weak. it's human.