(p)reserved

as the end of the year approaches, people gets hectic. with all the business target to be fulfilled, deadlines, agendas, and oh-whatever-things that running chasing me, life has been good all in all.

had a series of thoughtful conversation/discussion/talk with a good friend, which bugs my comprehension upon things. nonetheless it was (well, were) very refreshing. it had been a while that i don't take the time for myself to think of things the way i wish to contemplate. this had happened before, the non-contemplating moments, and usually when this happens it means i've been running way too fast and not embracing the hills and the view.

ahh, the hills and the views and the trees and the round-about animals that could only be find when you seek through the bushes and the tree branches, how i miss them. it has never been good to run along the path. you would get too tired from running. furthermore, you wouldn't even breath its air, you'd run too fast you you'd get to some other point before you even inhale.

thus, i need to slow down.

and thanks to this friend of mine, i did. i think i have been blessed with people around me that actually take the time to stop and look back. not to regret what had been, but to acknowledge whatever things that came along the way. the details that made you feel the way you are as you reach the point of re-starting your engine all over again. and thus you keep what were along the way, the bump and the flowers, the fresh air and the mud. the talk was enlightning for it gave me time to embrace small details all over again.

i think i have been taking too much of my time embracing the details. the phonetic pronounciation of a friend who don't necessarily emphasize that when you say 'and' you need to put a slight 'd' as you close your mouth; the way a friend puts simple grammatical tenses at the wrong place (not that i don't do that); the way i feel driving the car on the path that embraces old stories; and how my friend hold their cigarette, which for me tells something about why they smoke.

or how your first impression on someone should be explained differently, as in how someone would be a preserved rather than a reserved one. the last one lacks one letter but it makes that slight different. yet, would it matter at all, then? as was said, this is just a matter of giving identities and that the identity would always in between, then you would never be a preserved nor reserved man. and, oh how freud were blessed to take his vacant time to think about our consciousness. the consciouness were never there for us. we choose the things we would like to be conscious of. this makes our life a bit more bearable. a bit more comprehensible.

and i have been wondering whether the fact that it is comprehensible or not - matters? for it would never be comprehensible or incomprehensible. it would only becoming one. by the time you get to the point of comprehending it, the incomprehensible would manifest itself and put us to the stage of how we are so clueless, as we are. we know nothing.

and that makes every thing (and every one) much more interesting.