j'ai peur

*J’ai perdu la puissance de la solitude,
l’invinsibilité de la femme sans cœur.
Maintenant j’ai peur ...

I cried my heart out last night.

As the sun rose, I thought, I was getting better.
Apparently not.
I’m overwhelmed with the fact that no talking whatsoever had occurred, it concerned me, but I knew nothing was wrong. It was just taking time for itself,

and I was overwhelmed that tonight the weather was extremely weird,

and I got so nervous after talking about my thesis earlier this evening-with my fellow circle,

and I wished there would be one missed call, thus I would have the reasoning to call back-and not be such a pain in the ass and an over controlling girlfriend,

and this song that I gave for Christmas last year had been playing for at least half a dozen time, till I broke down with annoyance.
(unfortunately-or perhaps fortunately-the annoyance has not arrived. Just yet)

oh, dear..

*: i've lost the ability of being alone,

the invisibility of being a woman who fears.
now, i'm scared.